RANDOM LOOSE ENDS OF 2011

 This is Happy Bird. She is Mom's Amazon Parrot, and the first exotic bird we acquired.  Since then we have gotten 3 more exotic birds, but not Amazons.

Well, Christmas 2010 is now a memory, and soon so will be 2010.  Amazing how fast it went.  Amazing how slow it went.

Christmas Day was a little warmer than it has been lately, although I wouldn't call it warm - not by a long ways.  But it was still a lovely day.  My sister and her husband live about 200 miles from here, and they come for Christmas dinner on Boxing
Day.  Karen brings a couple of salads, Mom makes the deserts and I do the turkey and what-not.  And most importantly, we get to be together at some point for such a wonderful Celebration.  They won't be back until after the New Year.  New Year's is pretty boring if you ask me.  There isn't really anything going on around here that I want to get involved in.  I guess I'll be staying home and watching Back to the Future re-runs.

This was a challenging year for me in some ways.  My mother was diagnosed with a tumor on her lung, I was fighting aches and pains and chronic fatigue, and trying to keep up to everything and falling behind in everything.  But everything turned out all right.  That's the main thing.  Mom is getting stronger all the time, and she has gained 10 pounds since her treatments in June.  That puts her all the way up to 90 pounds now.  I tease her that pretty soon I'll be having to put her on a diet.  Not......
And I'm feeling better in many ways.  Just finding out what was wrong with me took a lot of pressure off and I was able to start doing things to help myself.  Now I have quite a ways to go, but I can see myself getting there.  Maybe 2011 will see me completely back up to full speed once again.  But I never did get the carpet shampooed.  Only a small portion.  The brushes quit turning and they were making this awful screeching sound, and I never really got to figure out what was wrong with it.  I think maybe I have the bar snapped in crooked or something.  At any rate, I guess shampooing the whole carpet is a 2011 job.  Perhaps it was unrealistic of me to think I could get the whole thing done in a week, given my circumstances.  They say if you are going to dream, dream big.  Maybe I slipped out of 'dream mode' and entered the land of fairy tales.  Oh well.  No harm done.

Mainly I think about how much I have changed this year.  In some ways for the better; in some ways I'm thinking for the worse.  I do know that I am not the same girl I was this time last year.  I don't know if I should be glad about that or not.  But for the end of this year, and the beginning of the New, the mess of me is still in tact and I'm sure the Lord is not surprised by the changes that have surprised me.  And the best part is, He's big enough to complete the work He began in me so long ago when I first put my trust in Him.  So I won't lose hope.

~~

It came to my attention that some of the pictures I had posted on Facebook were being borrowed by relatives that were not asking me first. They know me well enough to know that if they had only asked they could have freely taken them.  So, they just took them.  What's the deal with that?
Now I know that I am not the greatest photographer in the world, and my pictures are not the best pictures that have ever been taken, and there is nothing special about them that anyone but me would want, but they were mine, taken by me, and posted on my feed.  I feel that I should have at least been asked.  And the answer would have been, yes, certainly.  Take all you want.

No respect is what it boils down too.  They aren't public domain just because I put them up there.  I didn't offer them in an app to be used by whomever.  So I became somewhat upset - to put it extremely mildly - and took all my pictures down.  I won't be posting anymore - there.
Do I sound like a baby crying because it's bottle is too warm?  I think so.  But I'm tired of having to be the one to always move over and make room for people to do whatever they want.  Run into a bully?  Act like you don't notice and they will get bored and quit.  But they never do.  Run into someone that is haughty and arrogant and treats me like they are better than me?  Don't take it to heart - they're the one with the problem.  No they aren't.  I'm the one being treat like dirt, not them.  Somebody stealing your pictures?  If you don't want your pictures stolen take them down.

Maybe if I hide in my house and never stick my nose out from under my bed  people will be happy then, or will they just think up something else to pull.  How much moving over is ever going to be enough?  Or should I just start acting like everybody else?  Get them before they get me!  Become the bully with the biggest stick!
Katherine the Doormat doesn't live here anymore.  May I introduce you to Katherine the Hun - a lean, mean people eating machine.

I can't do that.  It would hurt my feelings too much.  Isn't there someplace in the sand where a proper line can be drawn?
Maybe that's what I need to do.  I need to learn how to set boundaries - loving boundaries, but still, boundaries.  Might be better than stewing and getting all stressed out about it.  And thinking and saying things I have to repent of, and having fibro flares.
I wonder if it's a mindset.  The way I carry myself or something that screams 'treat me like crap - I like it that way'.  Since I seem to draw these people like manure draws blow flies on a hot July afternoon, there must be something about me that tells people they can get away with it.
Well, I'll get it figured out and dealt with the right way - in the Lord.  I hope it doesn't take me until 2012.

I think I'm done venting - for now.

I doubt that I will get the chance to blog again before the New Year, so if I don't, have a very fun and safe New Years Celebration and may 2011 be a year of wonder and amazement at the goodness that God showers down on you.

Much love to you ...





MY VISIT TO THE DENTIST

This is my little cat Nikki, taken last year at about this time.  She likes to straddle herself over the back of the chair and sleep there.

Well, that part is done.  I got to the Dentist today to have my tooth pulled.  It had abscessed twice - the last time was more painful than the first, so I was glad that I wouldn't have to wait for it to infect a third time.  The tooth itself was in good enough condition, but it was gum trouble that caused it.  I'm glad it wasn't a root abscess.  I understand the pain of those can just about drive you out of your wig.   At any rate it's over and done, and I'm almost finished with the major part of my 'dentisting'.  I'm supposed to go in in January and have 3 more pulled and a partial plate put in on the bottom.  I'm not looking forward to it.  I would prefer a creative miracle.  Butcha gotta do whatcha gotta do.

The place where I go is very nice.  It is a large heritage house that has been revamped into a Dental Clinic.  Even has a lovely winding staircase.  They had a nice Christmas tree up in the waiting room all decorated in white and silver decorations.  Something for me to 'chew on' for next year.  :) 

In the back is where all the rooms are.  They are all petitioned off with walls that don't go right to the ceiling and they have big, big windows.  It doesn't feel the least bit clinical or scary or closed in.  It's about as relaxing back there as a place like that can get.  Not a white wall in the place.  All nice decorator colors.

I was in the chair and the gal raised it up, and I could see out this big window, and I thought 'this must be what it's like to be in one of those glass elevators'.  I've never been in one.  I've been tempted.  Me and elevators don't get along that well.  The last time I was in an elevator with my brother he vowed never to get stuck in an elevator with me again - and he never has.  That was almost 30 years ago.  And I have not braved that many elevators since then either.  I usually just take the stairs.  But I thought at one point it might be nice to go a couple floors in one of those glass ones - on the inside of the building, not the outside.  Not 500 stories either.  One or two.

Maybe that will go on my 'The Future is Now' list of new heights to explore, excuse the pun. 

Maybe doing things you never would have thought you would do is not all a bad thing.  Maybe I'm starting to think outside the box. 

My box.  The box I locked myself into.  When I let fear clip my wings and tell me how high I could fly.

You know, it never seems to fail. I'm more surprised than anybody when I see where my blogging takes me.

Anyway, they are very good with me in there.  They go over your options with you and once you have decided which course of action you are going to take they explain everything they are going to do, why they are going to do it, how they are going to do it, and what it's going to feel like.

Although I have wondered how they know what it is going to feel like, since everyone in there seems to have perfect teeth.

And they try to make the needle procedures as easy on me as possible.  Having a big long needle stuck in my mouth is not my favorite fun thing to do, but they try so hard to be so careful.  Since I have to go to the Dentist anyway I am glad I found this place.  Which is another story in itself.

~~

You see, I needed to go to a dentist, and we had just moved here, and there is no dentist here in town.  Actually, there isn't a whole lot here in town. So anyway, I prayed and asked the Lord where I should go to find a dentist, and in my mind's eye I saw this huge  blue heritage house with a sign in front that said Dental Clinic.  It's about 1 1/2 hours drive from where I live.  It's in the same city where I get my swan pictures.  So I looked it up in the phone book, called and got an appointment almost straight way, which is unusual to get into a dentist that fast - around these parts anyway.  My brother-in-law came to drive me and I told him it is the blue heritage house on the corner.  But when we got there, guess what.  It wasn't blue.  It has never been blue.  It is a light creamy beigey brown.

They say blue is the color of heaven.  It signifies love and peace.

So why then, when I go in there am I such a bundle of nerves???  I was laying on the table and the nerves in my back were jumping like popcorn in a microwave.

My sister told my mother that I sure have been brave.

She doesn't know that I slept with my Bible last night.

The first time I went in there I had to take my blanket.  Yes.  I really am almost 50 years old.  I almost laugh about it now.  Almost.   :()

Well, enough of all that.  Only one more trip and then all I'll have to do is maintain.  They say they are very pleased with my progress.

Actually, you know, so am I.  In more ways than one.

I hope my jaw has stopped hurting by turkey time.

And I hope I can drum up energy enough to finish up last minute things around here before the big day.

And I hope I remember above all the most important thing:

But the angel said to them, "Do not be afraid.  I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people.  Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; He is Christ the Lord.  Luke 2:10, 11

Have a great few days before Christ mas.

Much love to you ...

A TRIBUTE

I was  thinking a few days ago, that it was about this time of year that I started up at Spaces.  It was just before the New Year 3 years ago.  I had started fooling around with the place a few months prior to that, but I had my permissions all closed up because I was afraid of cyberstalkers.  I had heard all the usual horror stories about all the nightmarish things that had happened to people who had met people on line, and I was some pretty nervous about being on a networking sight of any kind.  I found the place quite by accident, or so I thought, and I had to put it in my Favorites to find my way back.  But I felt that the Lord was telling me I needed to open it  up and let people in.  I questioned as to weather it was really the Lord, and when I finally decided it was I took my permissions off of private and within 24 hours I met my first friend - Robyn.  Robyn is an animal lover like myself,  and a very kind lady and we have been friends ever since.  I didn't realize that you could meet 'nice' people.  It wasn't too long after that that I met a beautiful Christian lady name Nita,  from way across the pond.  I've been truly blessed and inspired by her relationship with her Lord, and it has driven me to make not the odd adjustment in my own walk with Him.  Not long after that I met another lovely and gifted lady named Lisa.  She takes some of the most breathtaking photographs I have ever seen.  And she lives not terribly far from where I live, just a couple hundred miles or so.  From Lisa I learned to see the beauty that is around me if I just open my eyes.  If any of these people ever found out where I live, which wouldn't be that hard, and I found them on my doorstep sometime knocking on my door I would be overjoyed.  *hinthint*  I'd probably be too excited to open the door.

Since then I have met lot's of nice people on Spaces.  And then one spring morning - early - I couldn't sleep, so I thought to myself that I might as well get up and not sleep as lay there and not sleep, so I got up and went on the computer.  I found there an invitation from another Spaces friend named Amanda - Nita's daughter - to join her on Face book.  Face book.  I had heard of Face book, but didn't really know what it was.  So I did.  She must have just sent the invite, because right away she sent me a message - "That was fast".  I immediately started looking around on Face book to try to figure out what it was all about and I found a lady I knew.  My President/Manager.  A very nice lady named Norma.  I said hello to her and before the day was over she had confirmed me as her friend.  It does take me a while to figure things out sometimes, and it was the beginning of December before I really got into the swing of Facebookism.  But I found lot's of my Spaces friends, and I have made many new friends too.  

So I salute my Friends - the people the Lord knew would make my life a richer place.  His year end/year beginning gifts to me.

Now here it is, December again,  just before the New Year, and here I am trying to figure out Blogger.  I wonder what is in store for me here.  I'm finding it quite different from either Spaces or Facebook.  And I'm still working at getting it figured out, but as I reflect on my past experiences in cyberworld, I think this must be a good place for me to be.

I think of how far I've come - from being afraid of what might be out there, to looking for what is out there.  From being a computer illiterate that didn't want to use a computer because I was afraid I was too dumb to learn to sitting down on purpose and staying with it until I get it figured out.

And what strikes me even more, is that 3 years ago, when the Lord was trying to get me to open up my permissions on Spaces He saw today as clearly I saw yesterday.  He saw the friends that were out there in the wings while I was keeping the permissions locked on private.  He saw the things I would learn that would make my life better while I was afraid to step out and take the chance.  Should I dare to trust Him with a brand new year? with what's left of this one?  with tomorrow?  Maybe that's why all these things have been coming to my mind.  In this thing called life, there is new territory to take, to boldly go where I've never been before.  Sometimes it just looks like one big black hole.  Sometimes it's hard to see where you're going one step at a time.  Until enough time passes and you look back.  And I didn't even know I was going anywhere.

Have a great weekend.



Much love to you ...

The weather outside is frightful.  Well, ok.  Maybe not frightful exactly.  But I'm glad I don't have to be out in it, or travelling.  I know a lady that she and her husband head for sunnier places this time of year, Arizona or someplace like that.  Driving.  I hope they have a safe trip and have driven out of this snowy, blowy weather we are having today.  And I also hope it clears up a whole lot more than this by next week.  I have a dentist appointment and if it isn't any better than this I will have to cancel again.  I had an abscess and I was supposed to get my tooth pulled and for one reason and the other I was never able to get in.  That was September.  Yikes.  It re-infected again a week or so ago and this time it hurt like a booger.  If I have to cancel again, and God forbid, it re-infects again, I can't imagine what the  pain will be like.  I don't even want to think about it, so I will just pray for good driving conditions. 

My cat has not been acting like herself the last  few days.  Yesterday was much better.  Today she is acting kind of weird again.  I pray frequently for pets - mine and other peoples.  The Bible says if we pray according to His will then we know He hears us, and since we know He hears us, whatever we ask, then we know we have the thing we desire.  Maybe it's time to start praising Him like His Word is true, instead of asking over and over like God has gone deaf or something.  Hmmmm ... (But, if you don't mind, if you pray for animals, would you talk to the Lord about Blossom for me.  My life without her would be very empty now, even tho I have lot's of other pets.  They are my fur-kids).

Last night was the Community Christmas Banquet.  I am a member of a volunteer organization called The Royal Purple.  We cater and earn money to give to people and causes that need help, among other things that we do.  And they will pay for the tickets for any member that wants to attend, so Mom and I have gone the last 3 years in a row. 

Last night was the usual.  Some people dressing to the nines, some people coming as they are, and some, like me, dressed somewhere in between.  Last year our table was directly under a giant air conditioner, which some moron turned up, it felt like, as high as it would go.  Then something went wrong with the controls and they couldn't get it turned off.  It was almost -40 last year.  Who turns on air conditioning in -40???  Duhhhhhh.  If you're too warm all you have to do is go stand within 6 feet of the nearest door.  That will cool you off awfully quick.  Needless to say, I thought I was never going to warm up again, but I did.  And I was fully clothed - nothing scanty for me.  So this year I wore a warm 3/4 length Nordic sweater and dress pants and sensible shoes.  I was not the fashionista of the ball, but I was more or less comfortable.  But I digress. 

Last night was the usual.  Supper was 1/2 hour late, I was hungry when we left home at 5:30, and chow time ended up being 7:00.  I'm used to eating at 5:00.  I was ready to eat the food, the dishes, the table, anything that moved or didn't move.  To my shame I ate way too much, although thankfully I had no serious incidents afterward.  I did repent though.  I'm digressing again. 

Last night was the usual.  Go, watch people drink themselves under the table, and eat, and be glad when it's finally late enough to come home.  About 9:00.  That's not late, it's just late enough when you're watching the clock tick, and when you're watching people get tipsier by the minute.  I suppose that is why some people attend.  To drink.  And drink.  And drink.  I asked Mom why we attend this annual bash.  We don't really fit in.  And neither of us find watching people get drunk and stay drunk a wonderful spectator sport.  She said she was wondering that too.  However, she did point out that I didn't have to cook it or clean it up afterward, and we didn't have to pay for it.  I guess there is always a silver lining.  I imagine that by this time next year all will be forgotten and I will be scrambling to find something 'in-between' to wear to the annual gala event.

My real problem with all of this is that I am very uncomfortable in social gatherings.  I am self-conscious about what I am wearing, how my hair looks, how my make-up looks, how I look, etc.  I'm not a great conversationalist so it's not like I spend the evening acting like the local social butterfly.  Mostly, I just sit there and wait for the thing to finally come to an end, so I can go home and clean up the bathroom I left looking like a war zone with all that make-up and clothes laying all over the vanity and the floor.

My lifestyle isn't real high class.  I'm like most people.  I cook, clean, take care of Mom (sort of), take care of pets, clean kitty litters, shovel snow (sometimes).  Like most people.  I haven't got the time or the money, or the energy or the desire to keep my hands perfectly manicured and my gel nails done right.  Actually, I've never had gel nails.  So since my hands look pretty rough most of the time, I thought I would get some of those glue on nails and go to the Christmas bash at least looking like I care what my hands look like.     BIG mistake.  I've put those nails on before.  Once you get the hang of it, it goes pretty well.  I haven't used them in a long time however, and I kind of lost my knack I guess.  I dropped more nails on the floor than I put on my fingers.  Some of them wouldn't stick.  Of course you know I glued my skin to the nail, and glued my fingers together more than once.  That hurts.  By the time I got all ten done I was in severe pain, I had glue stuck all over my fingers, and I was wondering why I wasted the money on this stuff.  It did look better than my ragtag nails, but what a price to pay.  I hope it's a long time before I put myself through all that again.  I think from now on I'll 'stick' with nail polish.  :)

My lesson:  It hurts to try to be something I'm not.  It takes a lot more courage to be someone else than it does to just be the person I am.  And the BIG LESSON  (drum roll goes here ... ):  I desperately need to get myself off my mind, and relax at being the unique person God created me to be.   And accepting the life He has given me to live, and living it like it's a gift instead of some bad script that needs re-written.   I think He and I will have a much more abundant life when I have these lessons perfected in me.  And maybe I'll be able to relax and have more fun too.

This has sounded a lot like complaining.  I didn't mean it to.  I meant it to be 'just saying'.  But I am glad that I can see what I've been doing to myself.  That's the first step on the long journey of learning to take me as I come and letting God make the corrections as He sees fit, with my cooperation of course.

Have a blessed and productive week.  May all your trails be happy ones.
xoxo

I've been playing around a little with the colors, backgrounds, etc.  I don't know exactly what I'm doing yet, but learning a little bit at a time. There's no telling how many changes my new blogging spot might go through before I get the idea. I did manage to upload a picture I found on Photo bucket.  It's Norway at Christmas with the Northern Lights dancing in the sky.  I've always wished to see the Northern Lights, but I don't live far enough north.  On the very rare occasion we could see a faint white haze sort of flickering, but that was about as wild as it ever got.  Maybe I should put that on my wish/bucket list.  Sort of like a dream.  Something I will do in the future.

I wonder if the Future ever actually becomes the present.  Have you ever seen something in a store, and didn't have quite enough money, or you had the money but it had to be kept for other things, and thought to yourself  'Maybe someday'.?  Did your someday ever come?  Or does the Future only lie somewhere up ahead, like the faint glimmer of the Northern Lights in the Central Alberta sky?

Where does the Future begin?  How will I know when I have arrived at it?  When I see the Northern Lights in all their radiance, and my breath is taken away in awe at the wonders of God's creation? Is there a sign that says 'Welcome to the Future - Home of the Wish/Bucket List'?  Where do the Northern Lights begin?  Is there one certain spot in the atmosphere where we can definitely say 'This is their starting place?'

Or do you just creep up on it and suddenly find you have arrived there?  Did the Future begin already, and I was so busy thinking 'maybe someday' that I missed it?  Maybe today was the Future.  Maybe I'm in the Future right now and I didn't recognize it.  I didn't know that faint white haze in the sky were the Northern Lights until someone told me.  I never knew you could look at the Northern Lights and not recognize them, but I did - for a long time. 

Hmmmm ....

I don't think I'll ever think of the Northern Lights in quite the same way.

Have a blessed day.

BABY, IT'S COLD OUTSIDE

Boy, is it ever cold outside.  They said yesterday that it was going to be a little warmer today.  It was.  Yesterday was -22.  Today was -18.  Right now we are in the 'below normal' forecast.  I would settle for normal.  I think that would be somewhere around -10ish.  When I let the dogs out I just stand by the door and wait for them to come back inside, and they don't waste any time either.

O.k.  Enough complaining!!!  I decided I'm not going to gripe about the cold.  I'm going to enjoy winter this year.  Here where I live winter consists of about 6 months of the year.  That's a big chunk out of a person's life to be spent lamenting something that cannot be changed.  Unless I left the country, which truthfully I wouldn't really want to do.  Alberta has been my home all my life and I like it here.  So, I guess I take the winter with the rest of it.  Not that I have anything to compare it to, since, like I said, I've never lived anywhere else.  I'm sure there are lot's of good places to live.  But I'd still settle for normal right about now.

I went outside last week when it was really cold, before the heat wave came through today, and shoveled the sidewalk.  That wasn't too bad.  I found out I have fibromyalgia and it can be very debilitating.  Last winter I didn't even attempt to shovel.  I could barely drag myself from room to room inside, much less outside.  But I think I am feeling much better now.  I'm able to sleep more hours at a time.  For years I have awakened every hour almost exactly on the hour, so I never had the chance to enter into the REM - that is - the restful part of the sleep pattern.  That contributes to Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, which I found far more debilitating than even the pain part.  But now most nights I find I am sleeping about 4 hours at a time, so that is a terrific improvement for me.  Then, just about the time I think I have really made a lot of progress with the stress and pain part of Fibro I get splattered between the eyes.  It can be anything, usually something of no consequence that for most people would hardly even be noticeable, but it will just about floor me - an emotional upset if you will.  Then I get the aches and pains and depression.  This used to last for  d a y s  but now it only lasts for days.  I have had to learn to cut myself some slack and not let the occasional set-back be a whip for me to beat myself up with.  With prayer and doing what I can do for my body, i.e. diet, exercise and such I will regain normalcy, which incidentally I don't really remember what normal was, but I'm sure I'll be able to get used to it.  Some say Fibromyalgia is not curable.  I found a couple of doctors on line that say it can be reversed, so I am sticking with them.  Also, and most importantly, with God nothing is impossible, and that includes Fibromyalgia.  (The spell check keeps telling me I'm misspelling the 'F' word, but it doesn't have any suggestions for me).

I didn't really plan on talking about the 'F' word, but it has brought something to mind.  Cutting myself some slack.  Not beating myself up.  My specialty is being hard on myself and expecting super-duper-human results from myself.  But apparently I can improve without the occasional boxing match with myself anyway.  Maybe I should learn a lesson and cut myself some slack in other areas as well.  And improve without knocking the daylights out of me.

Guess I better get myself to bed.  Got a big day tomorrow.  Mom bought a new carpet steamer/shampooer/hard floor steamer and I'm going to try to have the carpet clean by Christmas.  If I get started now maybe I won't be too wonked out to enjoy the Lord's Birthday. 

Have a blessed day, and remember - Don't eat any yellow snow.  :)

So, Here I am

I'm new to Blogger and haven't really got the place figured out yet.  As you may have guessed by now, my name is Katherine.  Mainly I just talk about things I have been thinking about.  I'm willing to see lessons in Life, and more than that, willing to adjust the way I live according to the lessons I learn.  However, I do believe that the Holy Bible is the final authority on the subject of how I should live, and every lesson I learn is subject to It's authority.

Yes, I am a born-again Christian, I am glad to say.  The Lord Jesus Christ has been very good to me, and He alone has my allegiance.  However, I am interested in the things that other people believe, although I may not be willing to enter into it.  I'm interested in people, and mainly interested in being friendly.  I think I don't make that much of an impression in people's lives because I am not an 'inyourface' kind of personality, and yet, having said that, I often see people gradually change around me because they know they can relax and be themselves and I'm not going to send them to eternal damnation hell fire forever.  That's not really my job anyway.  Thank Goodness.  My job is also not to change people.  But if I can be a catalyst for a change they would like to see in their lives, or if watching how I live causes them to want something different for themselves, then I am happy with that.  I may or may not always mention God, Jesus, the Bible or Church, but they are never far from my mind and heart.  But you don't need to be afraid I'm going to preach.  On the other hand, if I have something to say about them I will.  After all, this is MY Blog.

I enjoy my pets, and I really have fun with my camera.  I would like to post pictures at some point.  I started out on Spaces Live and I found some very nice people and made some very good friends there.  Then I found a few of them on Face book, and I'm hoping to find a lot of them here as well.  I can't imagine my life without them in it now.  So you can make good friendships on line, but I've also met some duds.  They got the delete button.  Real life - same thing.

I hope to be able to take a look around and visit with some people I know and some that I will get to know.  I hope people will want to get to know me also.

Have a super week.