The weather outside is frightful.  Well, ok.  Maybe not frightful exactly.  But I'm glad I don't have to be out in it, or travelling.  I know a lady that she and her husband head for sunnier places this time of year, Arizona or someplace like that.  Driving.  I hope they have a safe trip and have driven out of this snowy, blowy weather we are having today.  And I also hope it clears up a whole lot more than this by next week.  I have a dentist appointment and if it isn't any better than this I will have to cancel again.  I had an abscess and I was supposed to get my tooth pulled and for one reason and the other I was never able to get in.  That was September.  Yikes.  It re-infected again a week or so ago and this time it hurt like a booger.  If I have to cancel again, and God forbid, it re-infects again, I can't imagine what the  pain will be like.  I don't even want to think about it, so I will just pray for good driving conditions. 

My cat has not been acting like herself the last  few days.  Yesterday was much better.  Today she is acting kind of weird again.  I pray frequently for pets - mine and other peoples.  The Bible says if we pray according to His will then we know He hears us, and since we know He hears us, whatever we ask, then we know we have the thing we desire.  Maybe it's time to start praising Him like His Word is true, instead of asking over and over like God has gone deaf or something.  Hmmmm ... (But, if you don't mind, if you pray for animals, would you talk to the Lord about Blossom for me.  My life without her would be very empty now, even tho I have lot's of other pets.  They are my fur-kids).

Last night was the Community Christmas Banquet.  I am a member of a volunteer organization called The Royal Purple.  We cater and earn money to give to people and causes that need help, among other things that we do.  And they will pay for the tickets for any member that wants to attend, so Mom and I have gone the last 3 years in a row. 

Last night was the usual.  Some people dressing to the nines, some people coming as they are, and some, like me, dressed somewhere in between.  Last year our table was directly under a giant air conditioner, which some moron turned up, it felt like, as high as it would go.  Then something went wrong with the controls and they couldn't get it turned off.  It was almost -40 last year.  Who turns on air conditioning in -40???  Duhhhhhh.  If you're too warm all you have to do is go stand within 6 feet of the nearest door.  That will cool you off awfully quick.  Needless to say, I thought I was never going to warm up again, but I did.  And I was fully clothed - nothing scanty for me.  So this year I wore a warm 3/4 length Nordic sweater and dress pants and sensible shoes.  I was not the fashionista of the ball, but I was more or less comfortable.  But I digress. 

Last night was the usual.  Supper was 1/2 hour late, I was hungry when we left home at 5:30, and chow time ended up being 7:00.  I'm used to eating at 5:00.  I was ready to eat the food, the dishes, the table, anything that moved or didn't move.  To my shame I ate way too much, although thankfully I had no serious incidents afterward.  I did repent though.  I'm digressing again. 

Last night was the usual.  Go, watch people drink themselves under the table, and eat, and be glad when it's finally late enough to come home.  About 9:00.  That's not late, it's just late enough when you're watching the clock tick, and when you're watching people get tipsier by the minute.  I suppose that is why some people attend.  To drink.  And drink.  And drink.  I asked Mom why we attend this annual bash.  We don't really fit in.  And neither of us find watching people get drunk and stay drunk a wonderful spectator sport.  She said she was wondering that too.  However, she did point out that I didn't have to cook it or clean it up afterward, and we didn't have to pay for it.  I guess there is always a silver lining.  I imagine that by this time next year all will be forgotten and I will be scrambling to find something 'in-between' to wear to the annual gala event.

My real problem with all of this is that I am very uncomfortable in social gatherings.  I am self-conscious about what I am wearing, how my hair looks, how my make-up looks, how I look, etc.  I'm not a great conversationalist so it's not like I spend the evening acting like the local social butterfly.  Mostly, I just sit there and wait for the thing to finally come to an end, so I can go home and clean up the bathroom I left looking like a war zone with all that make-up and clothes laying all over the vanity and the floor.

My lifestyle isn't real high class.  I'm like most people.  I cook, clean, take care of Mom (sort of), take care of pets, clean kitty litters, shovel snow (sometimes).  Like most people.  I haven't got the time or the money, or the energy or the desire to keep my hands perfectly manicured and my gel nails done right.  Actually, I've never had gel nails.  So since my hands look pretty rough most of the time, I thought I would get some of those glue on nails and go to the Christmas bash at least looking like I care what my hands look like.     BIG mistake.  I've put those nails on before.  Once you get the hang of it, it goes pretty well.  I haven't used them in a long time however, and I kind of lost my knack I guess.  I dropped more nails on the floor than I put on my fingers.  Some of them wouldn't stick.  Of course you know I glued my skin to the nail, and glued my fingers together more than once.  That hurts.  By the time I got all ten done I was in severe pain, I had glue stuck all over my fingers, and I was wondering why I wasted the money on this stuff.  It did look better than my ragtag nails, but what a price to pay.  I hope it's a long time before I put myself through all that again.  I think from now on I'll 'stick' with nail polish.  :)

My lesson:  It hurts to try to be something I'm not.  It takes a lot more courage to be someone else than it does to just be the person I am.  And the BIG LESSON  (drum roll goes here ... ):  I desperately need to get myself off my mind, and relax at being the unique person God created me to be.   And accepting the life He has given me to live, and living it like it's a gift instead of some bad script that needs re-written.   I think He and I will have a much more abundant life when I have these lessons perfected in me.  And maybe I'll be able to relax and have more fun too.

This has sounded a lot like complaining.  I didn't mean it to.  I meant it to be 'just saying'.  But I am glad that I can see what I've been doing to myself.  That's the first step on the long journey of learning to take me as I come and letting God make the corrections as He sees fit, with my cooperation of course.

Have a blessed and productive week.  May all your trails be happy ones.
xoxo