JUST TAKING A BREAK ... AND STOPPING TO MUSE FOR A MINUTE

I have always loved Thomas Kinkade's work.  I can always imagine myself walking up the lane towards the house or the church in the painting, or walking across the bridge or peeking in through the window, or even imagining what it must look like inside - if it were real of course.  I can imagine it being warm and cozy inside, with fragrance wafting throughout the house from the baking going on in the kitchen, or young and old alike sitting by the fireplace with hot cocoa laughing and maybe reading or singing after being outside in the cold making  a snowman.

A good artist will do that.  Pull you in to their work.  Make you 'feel' as though you are a part of their creation.  I have noticed in my almost half a century on this planet that there are actually very few that have that ability.  Many have very lovely talent.  But that part of the gift seems lacking.  Thomas Kinkade had it.  In my opinion of course.  

Isn't it funny how thoughts of warm and cozy seem to lend themselves easily with family and laughter?  I wonder how many look at something like a Thomas Kinkade or a Norman Rockwell and think of the house being empty?  Or with only one person inhabiting it's rooms?  Probably not very many.

That is the journey I am on.  Learning to make my abode a home for one.  One plus 2 cats, 3 dogs and 3 birds.  I think I'm getting there.  I don't feel it quite as hard when I come in alone at night and have that 'I'm the only one here' feeling.  I must be adjusting.  I came in late last night and suddenly I heard a 'beep' that wasn't familiar to me.  I froze.  I wondered if I had uninvited company and my alarm system was trying to tell me something.  But everything seemed so 'normal'.  With great caution I took a quick look around the house and it was only just me and the livestock.  It must have been my phone telling me I had a message.  'Normal' to be alone here now.  Without realizing it I guess I have come a long way.  Home really is where the heart is, isn't it?!

Today I have been decorating the tree.  I let my cat take off with a ball ornament.  That keeps her distracted away from what I am trying to accomplish.  I have the fireside channel on with the Christmas music playing.  I'm going to make some shortbread.  I like shortbread almost as much as I like Thomas Kinkade's artistry.  Too bad he never painted a picture of shortbread.  I only let myself indulge in it at this time of year because of all that sugar, and there is no shortage of sugar being passed around right now.  I guess shortbread is one of those things I will keep a Christmas Tradition along with the Christmas tree and letting my cat take off with an ornament.

Thomas Kinkade passed away this year.  I don't think he was yet 60 years old.  They said he died of natural causes.  Natural causes at that age?  I'm sure he had much more creativity stored up in him than what we will ever have the privilege of seeing now that he is gone.  It's a good thing he was able to express it while he was here since his time here was much too short.  If I am any example of how his work was able to inspire people I'm sure he was able to reach many with with a warmth that maybe they thought was long gone from their soul.  Just goes to show - make the most of your journey while you're on it because someday will be the last day.  We really don't know who all we really do inspire, just by being who we are and doing what God has placed inside us.

I think I will get back to my tree and decorations and my cat now.  I hadn't planned on taking a break, but I'm glad I did.  I'm always as surprised as anyone when I see where my blogs have taken me.  

Maybe later I will go dig out my Thomas Kinkade 'stuff' and climb aboard a dream train.

Have a very Merry 'you are one of a kind' CHRISTmas.

xo

IS IT CHRISTMAS ALREADY?

Does that really say April 10?  Wowzers!  I can hardly believe that.  I wasn't even home yet when I blogged that one and here it is Christmas.  

It's funny.  Not funny 'ha-ha'.  Funny ironic.  I see the scripture I posted is the scripture verse the Lord is still speaking to me once again.  Maybe I didn't get it after all.  Or maybe I just need to get it some more, or again. 

There has been a lot of water under the bridge since April.   I got back home shortly after I posted that and it has been a real roller coaster ride.  It took me a while to find a job and when I finally got a job the hours weren't what I expected, and it only lasted 2 months.  Then it took  a while to get another job.  That one was better than the first, but they don't work through winter, so I'm back to job hunting again.  I have had water problems ever since before I returned home - actually not really water problems - leak problems more like it.  That proved to be very expensive.  The water bills alone were enough to keep me on edge.  But I think I'm through the worst of that now.  I have had trouble getting some of the utilities transferred into my name.  There seems to be much confusion in that area, why I don't know.  In the midst of my employment issues and unemployment issues and not as many hours of work as I thought and water bills that were almost 'other worldly' I managed to more or less keep up with everything, except for the telephone, which is also the same company that provides t.v service.  I did fall behind a couple months on that but I always managed to put something on the bill.  So what did they do but threaten to disconnect me.  I felt like someone clobbered me  between the eyes.  After all the juggling and scrimping I had to do to make sure to put something on that bill so it wouldn't get too far ahead of me now they were threatening to cut me off.  I prayed very earnestly about that one, and I notice that the cut-off day has come and gone and I still have service so I guess the Lord must have seen it my way.  My computer crashed and the last job I had  pretty much revolved around computers.  My sister and her hubby blessed me with a brand new lap top so I could keep going, which is how I am on here now.  When I feel very low about the whole situation I stop on purpose to remember how the Lord has  seen me through every day since April.  Somehow the water bills got paid, somehow I managed to come up with money to pay the other bills, I have never been without food in the house.  Somehow I managed to come up with just enough money to give to my family members for a Christmas gift.  Not a great big sum of money.  Not anywhere near as much as I would have liked, but at least something.  

'Somehow'.  I should be saying 'Someone'.  Jesus, the One we celebrate.  

I must admit that Christmas for me this year is presenting a little more of a challenge for me.  Mom isn't here to celebrate with this year, and she never will be again.  I miss her so very much, and at times I am very lonesome for her.  And my financial challenges and shortfalls have not been an easy load to carry all by myself.  I guess Jesus knew they wouldn't be.  I guess that's why He commands us in His word to let Him do the carrying.  But I think I am seeing another 'something'.  'Someone'.  I am not alone in the world.  He is nearer to me than my next breath.  He always has been.  In the midst of my anxieties and  panic attacks and all the tears, nothing ever stopped Him from caring for me and taking care of me.  It hasn't been easy.  I don't want to say it has been the year from hell, but ... 
And yet, I have seen His dealings with me in a way I never did before.  I have never had any of this to do before.  Just about everything I do now is a first for me, and He is taking me through it.  A real learning experience for sure.  

I am seeing again why I celebrate Jesus at Christmastime.  Because He did come as a baby, but He didn't stay a baby.  He is the resurrected Son of God, the Lord of Glory, at the right hand of the Father, the Keeper of my heart.  The Keeper of my Heart.

I think it's is just fine to enjoy this special season.  What a lot of people call materialism I call celebrating.  Give the gifts, whatever you can afford to do, do it in love.  Eat the chocolates, do the baking, gather with friends and family and enjoy each other.  Do it!!!  If it wasn't for Jesus we would all be done for, so just go ahead and be happy.  Decorate and bake and eat special food and do it with this thought in mind:  'SOMEONE' loves me.  And HE went to great lengths to show that love, and I give myself permission to be happy about it, extravagant even.  And what's more, the SOMEONE who so loved that He gave will continue to care for me after the tree comes down and the power bill comes in and I have to look for another job some more.

This has been a long blog.  8 months coming.  Hopefully it won't be another 8 months before I'm back.  Hopefully I will be able to report before too long that my financial woes have turned to dancing and I have a job that both pays and lasts.

Have yourselves a very MERRY CHRIST-MAS!

xo